Letter from Trevor (Worth The Read!!!)

[L to R] Aimee, Brandy, Trevor, Me


Letter to a friend,



If there is anything at all that increases the quality of my life, that which magnifies and intensifies every experience that comes across my path...it is you. The very nature of kind gestures and caring supportis reflected in the genuine sincerity of you... who raise hope and faithhigh above. There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder orcontrol the firm resolve of a determined soul...you have given me thedetermination, the fortitude to persevere, therefore, thanks to you,
I AM THAT DETERMINED SOUL.

Cancer has unequivocally altered the course of my life, but I see canceras a blessing rather than a curse, you see, there are five words, whichshould always ring out in a persons mind prior to the formation of any opinionand they are "What else could this mean?" Understand that to falter is ordinary but to relinquish a lifewillingly, this is admission of a tomorrow that has net yet occurred. The worriesof yesterday, added to the weight of the worries of tomorrow, carried today...will make even the strongest man fall, for that reason I live inthe moment because the future is today. We spend our lives worrying aboutthe procession of life, the child says, "When I am a big boy." But what isthat? The big boy says, "When I grow up." And then, grown up, he says, "WhenI get married." But to be married, what is that after all? The thought changes to "When I'm able to retire." And then, when retirement comes,he looks back over the landscape traversed; a cold wind sweeping over;somehow he has missed it all, and it is gone. Life, we learn too late, is inthe living, in the tissue of every day and every hour."One realizes the full importance of time only when there is little leftof it. Every man's greatest capital asset is his unexpired years ofproductive life. " It was late at night, sometime around 11:30 pm, as I began walkingtowards the kitchen I felt my heart jumping in my chest, unfortunately a rather common occurrence. I slowly removed a glass from the cupboard on the premise that I wasgoing to get a drink of water...how simple this process seemed at the time,how mundane an activity. Bright lights and unbearable tintinnabulation are all I remember... I awoke on the floor of the kitchen to the most terrifying sound aperson could ever hear... The voice of a loved one, a spouse no less screaming my name in tears desperately attempting to wake me from what seemed like an instant forme but yet I'm sure an eternity for her. I couldn't move... I lay there, shivering on the floor, trying to speak, but no words wouldcome, the chilling tile taking away the last ounces of strength Ithought I had. I could feel her trying to pick me up, trying to be strong for the twoof us, I could feel her tears on my shoulder and across my neck... WHY CAN'T I MOVE?????!!! What is happening to me? Gradually I began to eek my way back into a semi lucid state at whichpoint I grasped the fact that I had what the doctors so eloquently call "a syncopal episode" or in other words, I had passed out. The reasonbeing, pressure on my heart from a mass in my chest. Sitting against our refrigerator I began to appreciate the moment, Ilooked up at the face of the person taking care of me, through thetear-streaked cheeks and watered eyes and mustered the strength to say these words "I love you, I will not leave you it's just not my time yet...and thank you." Then I broke down and cried, and inside I thanked God for giving me thetime to stay...to appreciate...to love those around me...to enjoy any time Ihave with Brandy."

There is a choice that all of us must make and it is...life is somethingwe get to do, not something we've got to do, the second it becomes thelatter, life becomes a job. Regardless of my time here, I choose to live ratherthan just exist... So long as there is breath in me, that long I will persist. For now Iknow one of the greatest principles on success;

if I persist long enough
I will win.
I can't quit...
I can't back down...
I can't falter...
And I most definitely cannot lose...
because I just don't know how.

What I can offer is this, give in to those who love you because it makes life that much more fulfilling...know that we do not spend our life withthe person we can live with, we spend our life with the person we cannotlive without and we hold on to our friends as though today is the last day wewill see them. Life has three basic needs for fulfillment...something to do, someone tolove and something to hope for. As you stand ready, poised at the gates of accomplishment and freedom...understand that it is you who makes the difference, one step,one breath, one heartbeat at a time...these are what bring us across thefinish line. We bring about what we think about and dwell upon, hence, victorybecomes, to some degree, a state of mind. Knowing ourselves superior tothe anxieties, troubles, and worries, which obsess us, we are superior tothem. Within each of us is a hidden store of determination. Determination to keep us in the race when all seems lost. Remember this when the finish line seems so far in the distance, when the goal seems unobtainable...startby doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doingthe impossible. I would give almost anything for a bad day...cancer free...although simultaneously I would not trade this experience for anything because Iwish to continue to understand that life and love are a pathway, not a destination...always embrace time for them, thank you for taking thisjourney with me every day.

To you who have made a difference to me...you are all my friends...you are Team in Training.

Be the Miracle,
Trevor